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Life Lesson
Trust is a very big issue for everyone it seems. We go our whole lives wanting and desiring trust. How can we can trust someone? How can I trust you after you did that? Why don't you trust me? are all too common questions. However, if we reflect back we will see that little red flags came up along the way just to warn us that the person we thought we trusted was not really that trustworthy. Those little red flags, the ones that we are so eager to bypass and ignore just come back and haunt us. Whether it be a glance, a look, an answer, a comment, something the person did or not do reminds us of what we failed to recognize way back, that tried to remind us of what we were failing to see. Failing to see what our own minds try to tell us only puts us in vulnerable positions. You ask yourself "Why didn't I see it coming"? But the answer is you did. You just didn't want to acknowledge it. Life hits us at all ends. One day it can be beautiful and the next well, we have all been there. So, it really helps when you can trust and be trusted. When we meet people we usually tend to like them, not like them or don't really know what to think about them. In either case it tells us something about the person. If we continue to associate with the person and an affinity develops we start to get to know him or her. If you listen carefully and watch the actions you will see that people usually don't hide their own capabilities. Now when I say capabilities it doesn't necessarily mean to be good ones. Capabilities can also mean what the person IS capable of. He had an argument with his boss and got mad. He then dumped 4 dozen pens in the garbage. While he is very cute and personable it can act as a bit of a blind sight to someone who is very attracted to him, it behooves you to take note to red flag no#1. His last girlfriend was always whining wouldn't let him have his space so he dumped her after he agreed to marry her. Consider this red flag no#2. His mom isn't feeling well and he decides to go out with his pals instead of helping her. Red flag no#3. Now you can justify all his actions. He forgot, wasn't thinking etc., but the bottom line is he is telling you how much you can trust him. You can trust him to no#1 get revenge, no#2 he doesn't like to commit, no#3 he has no care for anyone who is sick. In other words he has no allegiance. So, why then do you get upset when he dumps you? Did you think you could change him? While that is a very romantic notion the cold hard facts remain the same. Chances are that even though you know things about a person you go ahead and trust them anyway. When the person doesn't live up to your expectations you get upset. You feel like you have been lied to, cheated and perhaps harmed. Silly huh! If only we had remembered what it was that stuck out like sore thumbs we would still be trusting that person because we would know exactly how far and with what we could trust them with. It ain't hopeless we just have to trust ourselves. |
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May, 2012
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